Lost in your eyes

A lot of things in life have hurt me so much. And i know i've hurt people.More than i really am ever willing to admit. My heart is just very heavy today.I am not sure why, but it just is. Last night my MIL brought me home an application for employment at where she works, and i forgot to fill it out.*major fail*.I went to bible study last night, with her and her mother and i am really starting to learn something, i think. I know that i need a positive change [who doesn't??]! I don't know what to do to make my life better? I am not sure!!!! I've always wanted to, but never have attempted to do things for myself to improve myself. Err...Im confusing myself???? Does anyone have a clue what i am talking about?


Anyways, i met a guy online years ago, that i had been talking to for a while before i met AJ.We are still friends on facebook, and i was just checking in on him, which i do with random people randomly...And apparently he had Severe Pancriatitis and has had every complication possible. He's been in the hospital for over four months and its just very sad. I got teary eyed while i was reading his moms blog:www.leapoffaith111483.blogspot.com which is located there if anyone wants to check it out. I was really mean to this guy, and i feel like shit about it.

And on Myspace, an old friend and I had started talking again, Stacy, and i was going to go to a Passion Party with her last night, but as always, wasn't able to make it. Bummed me out, and i thought she would be upset, but she just sent me a message with her phone number and told me to call her =) That made me smile, prolly that big, because i had been mean to her too.

I am glad that people are able to forgive, and i should probably take up doing that someday too..because i have alot of people that have hurt me, that i won't even acknowledge. How horrible of me? Anyone else have that? I am sure you do. I can't bear to think i am alone in this.

Anyways, i never cleaned yesterday, and i think i am going to now, after i fill out this application.

Oh, and just because this was an actual entry, doesn't mean my disc was delivered. It still hasn't arrived, and that sucks.

Oh oh...Handy Manny was replaced by Mickey Mouse in my sons eyes in 2.0....wish my life was that sweet.


Hope everyone has a fantastic day <3

Ps- i really need to continue reading

PSS- Leave me a comment telling me about something you truly believe in: Religion, Politics, ETC. Tell me something about you <3

still no computer, but thats ok because i get to catch up on my reading =)

and that sucks too because i haven't even finished one book.

what i really wanna do is play WoW and level my DK..........

maybe the disk will come today!


OH and i think i have a job. *crosses fingers*

oh and rest in peace Billy,MJ, and Farah, you will be missed ;(

Books read so far this year:

1) The five people you meet in heaven- Mitch Album
2) For one more day- Mitch Album
3) Perfect Nightmare-John Saul
4) Wet and Wild-Sandra Hill
5) Shadows-John Saul
6) Black- Ted Dekker
7) Odd Hours-Dean Koontz
8) Red- Ted Dekker
9) White-Ted Dekker
10) Cross Country-James Patterson
11)Chosen-Ted Dekker
*Currently Reading-Infedel-Ted Dekker
*Then-Renegade- Ted Dekker

 

11 / 50 books. 22% done!WTG! You can do it!
My goal is 50 books read by January 1, 2010

{Matching colors indicate same series}


Hmm wish me good luck, i am sure i will need it. Two toddlers obviously keeps me busier than i expected.

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When i joined this website, i had only read five books, so i would say that i am doing pretty good as of recently.





More big news!













I am going to be an auntie [again]






















of twins <3